Human Nature
by thebronzeEF
Summary: Buffy and Spike have finally managed to eradicate the demonic evil threatning their happiness, with their new daughter, but it seems impossible to take control of one thing they can't fight...time. **SEQUEL TO ALL I ASK** and **SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR**
1. Back To Normal

**A\N: This a sequel to All I Ask and Something To Live For so please read the previous installments to this trilogy if you haven't already. Thank you.**

* * *

><p>"Dawn. Up. Now.", Buffy muttered sternly. Dawn moaned and rolled onto her front, covering herself with her sheets. She heard her sister's foot steps approaching and tugged the covers tighter.<p>

"You want Spike to give you a lift? You need to get up."

"I don't feel so good", the girl grumbled. Buffy ripped the sheets from the bed.

"Sooner or later Dawn, that excuse is gonna get old. You chose to live out here with me and Spike so you gotta accept that you need to go to College."

Dawn sighed and forced herself to her feet.

"Fine..."

* * *

><p>It had been an eventful 5 months. As soon as the hospital had alerted them of Dawn's condition, all 6 of the scoobies, including Alice, flew back to Greece to see her. It took Dawn several weeks to adjust to everything that had happened, after missing out on almost a year of her life, but she was ecstatic about her new position as aunty. Buffy and Spike barely had any time with Alice when Dawnie was around. About 3 months ago, Dawn had decided to go and live with Buffy and Spike back in Tenerife. As much as she loved Xander, her coma had made her realise how much she needed her blood family and how much they needed her. Of course they kept in close contact and he visited regularly but they'd mutually agreed that a relationship wasn't the best thing right now.<p>

* * *

><p>Angel had also turned up at the hospital, when Dawn awoke, and both Spike and Buffy knew they owed him an explanation to what he had walked in on a few days before. As predicted, he wasn't at all happy with the bleached vamp fathering Buffy's child but as he soon came to accept, he knew there wasn't anything he could do to change the facts.<p>

* * *

><p>Alice was growing perfectly normally. Happy and healthy as promised. Spike's humanity was becoming increasingly apparent too. He'd completely lost his ability to heal quickly and according to medical professionals, was now extremely fertile. However, as much as she tried, Buffy still couldn't hear the sound of anyone's breath but her own in the night.<p>

* * *

><p>All 4 of them were living comfortable lives in a new villa, with an extra 2 rooms, but still on the beach. As Spike promised over a year ago, he had found and secured a job to provide income for his family since Dawn was at college most of the time and only had a part time job, and Buffy was a full time mum.<p>

* * *

><p>"Bit, you ready yet?!", Spike called to her room about a half hour after Buffy had woken her.<p>

"2 minutes! Geez!", she yelled back.

Spike noticed Buffy reaching the top of the stairs, a wailing Alice resting on her shoulder.

"Great! You woke the baby. It's gonna be a pain to get her back to sleep. You know she was awake half the night?", she sighed to her partner.

"Bugger. Sorry."

Spike made his way over, to the other side of the second floor of their home, towards Buffy and carefully took Alice from her. The vampire tried everything he could think of to calm his daughter down but she just became more upset.

"Come on, princess, what's up?"

Buffy pressed her lips together.

"Maybe she's in pain. I think she's started teething", Buffy guessed, reaching for the girl's hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. Spike held her closer.

"Poor little love", he whispered, gently kissing her warm temple.

Buffy recognised the familiar sound of the lock on Dawn's door clicking and took the fractionally calmer girl back into her arms.

"Go or you'll be late. She'll calm down in her own time."

Spike gave her a concerned look. "You sure? Can stay off for the day if you need me too. You don't have to do this on your own just 'cause I've got a job now."

Buffy shook her head insistently. "That's sweet but I got it. Warm milk sends her out like a light anyway."

Suddenly, Dawn was tugging on Spike's duster sleeve.

"C'mon daddy daycare, let's go."

He nudged her as she walked past.

"Watch it niblet. Don't have to take you anywhere y'know."

Buffy laughed, in turn causing Alice to giggle, the baby realising that something funny had arisen. An infectious smile spread across all 3 of the adults' faces as her laughter faded away.

"Be good for you're mum, kitten", Spike giggled, trying to get his laughter under control, as he rubbed a hand up and down his daughter's back.

Spike glanced at Buffy but she stopped him before he could open his mouth.

"For the millionth time, I'll be fine. Now go."

"Was actually gonna tell you that I loved you but my offer still stands...", he trailed off as he leant into capture her lips in a short but tender kiss.

Buffy chose to ignore his last comment. "Well in that case, I love you too."

"I bloody well hope so", he muttered jokingly as he started towards an impatient Dawn, but not before Buffy swatted him on the arm with her free hand.

* * *

><p>Buffy had expected the days without Spike around to be lonely. In one sense they were, since she was so used to having him close, but in another they made her feel free. She finally felt capable of looking after Alice without the vampire having to constantly protect them both.<p>

* * *

><p>An hour or so later, Alice had drifted off in her mother's arms so Buffy was very very careful putting her back in her cot. The slayer was barely awake herself so dragged her heavy bones to the kitchen to put on a jug of coffee when she noticed the enormous pile of washing that Dawn had thoughtlessly dumped by the machine, colours not even separated from darks. The only problem with staying at home all day, every day was that she really was starting to feel like a typical housewife. Of course, she didn't mind cleaning up after herself and giving the house a quick once over every so often but it was becoming ridiculous. Looking after Alice was time consuming enough without having to clean up a majority of Dawn's mess almost all of the time. Spike helped out as much as he could but working from 9-5 plus an hour journey home didn't leave much time to get the chores done.<p>

* * *

><p>Spike arrived home that night to find Dawn, singing to a care free Alice on the rug by the roaring fireplace, and to hear Buffy rattling around in the kitchen, probably preparing dinner, more for Dawn than anyone else. She didn't notice him sneak in and creep up behind her as she kept her attention focused on the many pans sizzling on the stove in front of her. She shuddered in both shock and pleasure as she she felt the sensation of Spike's lips brushing her earlobe.<p>

"Smells good", he whispered, lowering his chilled lips to her clavicle.

"You're late. Do you really deserve any of this delicious food?", she teased. Spike growled and squeezed her waist, causing her to flinch and almost spill the jug of water she was holding.

"Minx." He continued to tease her vulnerable flesh but she shrugged him off after putting the now empty jug down, turning to face him.

"Not now." She handed him 3 sets of cutlery. "Go set the table and maybe, just maybe, we'll continue this later", she suggested flirtatiously.

"Yes ma'am." With a sudden kiss, he had taken the cutlery from her and was in the front room.

* * *

><p>Evening slowly turned into night and Buffy and Spike finally had some time to themselves. Dawn had happily agreed to look after Alice upstairs whilst the couple wound down. The fire had been topped up with wood to keep the house warm on the surprisingly bitter and bleak June night.<p>

"We really need to do this more often", Buffy murmured sleepily into Spike's hair. They were currently tucked up on the sofa, Buffy on Spike's lap, one of his arms around her waist and the other resting on her thigh.

"Mm hm", he responded in the same drowsy tone. " Promise. From now on we'll make time. Sod work."

Buffy muffled a laugh, fiddling with a few strands of the vampire's slightly discoloured hair.

"Can't. We need the money. Especially now with your hair. You need more bleach", she joked.

Spike grasped his hair self consciously.

"You can't be bloody serious?"

Buffy didn't know why he looked so surprised.

"My hair doesn't grow. Hasn't in over 100 years. Never needed to redye it."

The pair stared at each other for a few seconds before it dawned on them what was happening. Buffy looked at the faint but still apparent bite mark on his wrist.

"The bite", Buffy started.

"Bugger!", Spike exclaimed, another puzzled look forming on Buffy's face.

"Means I have to go through all the fuss of bleachin' it again. Bloody nightmare it was."

Buffy huffed at him in amazement.

"That's all you can think about dummy? You could be starting to age. You know? Grow old with your family?"

"Might not even be permanent yet love so don't get too overexcited."

Buffy gawped at him.

"Why aren't you taking this seriously? This...thing in you is clearly spreading and you don't seem to want to know."

"Because I don't want you thinkin' that I'm suddenly just gonna change into this normal guy and give you and Alice a normal life 'cause I don't even know if that can even happen."

Buffy suddenly felt a pang of guilt inside her and immediately wanted to retract what she'd just said. She went to cup his cheek but he flinched away, clearly stung at the reminder of what he might never have, what he might have to lose.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I was just so convinced that this might change everything. I want this for you not just me. I know its what you want too."

Spike still didn't say anything but he seemed a little more relaxed. Buffy slumped back against the arm rest for few seconds before Spike came into eye contact with her, willing to talk again.

"Marry me."

Buffy's eyes were suddenly fixtated on him, her jaw had dropped and she was utterly speechless for a few seconds.

"W-what?", she stuttered.

"Realised that every second I have with you is important and I want us to have anything and everything. Promised you that we'd be as normal as we could...So marry me."

Buffy could feel waves and waves of tears threatening to spill and tried to sniff them back.

"Nothing would make me happier William."

Her using his name was a rarity. She'd only used it a few times before, mostly on some of the worst days of his life. Now finally, on one of the happiest days of his life...


	2. Sleep, Play, Plan

**A\N: Thank you Lauren for your work as my beta :)**

* * *

><p>Saturday was always the best day of the week. Dawn was almost begging for cash, so jumped at the chance to babysit every Saturday morning, giving Buffy and Spike some rare few hours together. The mornings often began with long, overdue lie ins. Buffy awoke at around 9 to the glorious smell of fresh coffee originating from the table beside her bed. She wasted no time in stretching herself awake and lunging for the cup. There was no doubt that Spike, who had just emerged from the shower, made the best coffee she'd ever tasted in her life. She was surprised that he'd managed to drag himself out of the comfort of their haven.<p>

"You're up early. Gonna make me breakfast too?", she messed with a hopeful grin.

Spike ran his fingers through his wet hair, his towel hanging dangerously low on his hips.

"Don't push you're luck sweetheart. Haven't had a proper day off in weeks. I ain't goin' anywhere." With that, he fell forward onto the bed and buried his head in a pillow. Buffy abandoned the now empty mug and shuffled over to him. She leant over and began nipping at his ear lobe, his damp skin sensitive to her warm, sweet breath.

"Guess I should get up...sort Dawn and Alice out with some food y'know." Buffy purposely started to sit up very slowly, trying to grasp the vampire's attention. As she expected, he pounced on her almost immediately, trapping her body beneath his own.

"You're not going anywhere either, Summers."

Buffy sighed but showed no sign of annoyance.

"You're really gonna need to stop calling me that soon."

Spike looked down at his new fiancée, smiling when he recalled memories of the night before.

"Old habits die hard."

Buffy suddenly turned the tables and spun them both over so that she was crouched over him, straddling his waist. She pushed his head back against the pillows as she moved her lips closer to him at an achingly slow pace, eventually planting them on his. Their tounges entwined almost immediately as their physical needs carried them away.

"We should really get up, shouldn't we?", he reiterated after a little while.

Buffy glared at him with a huge pout on her lips before noticing the glint of mischief in his eyes just as he overpowered her, yet again and slotted himself in between her legs.

"Got other ideas first..."

* * *

><p>A couple of hours later, the couple were still in bed shortly after finishing their 'celebrations'. Buffy was resting her head on Spike's chest and his fingers were running up and down her arm. They were both still slightly out of breath, Spike of course by choice.<p>

"Remind me to propose to you more often", Spike murmured into her hair, as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. He expected her to reprimand him for his remark but instead she simply giggled.

"Might have to. It's never been that good before."

"Better than that time at your 21st? Quality not quantity."

Buffy rolled onto her front and looked thoughtful.

"Y'know? I'm not sure. I think we need to go again to decide."

Spike brushed her hair out of her face, tenderly.

"That's my girl."

Suddenly, Alice's cries began to echo through the house. Both Buffy and Spike sighed.

"Maybe later love."

Buffy silenced him with a chaste kiss before correcting his sentence.

"Definitely later..."

* * *

><p>"So when should we have it?"<p>

Buffy was quizzing Spike on wedding plans as they sat on top of the bed, Buffy at the bottom end and Spike at the top. Little Alice lay between them, playing with a miniature rabbit toy.

Spike shrugged. "Got no clue. Can't say I thought about it before."

Buffy stopped in her tracks. "Before? You mean that wasn't just a spur of the moment thing last night?"

Spike shook his head. "Think I could come up with something that spontaneous? Nah, it came into my head a while back. Just couldn't decide when the right time to ask was."

Alice had now abandoned the plushie and was awkwardly shuffling her way across the covers towards her mother, obviously frustrated that she wasn't getting anywhere. The proud parents marvelled at the girl's determination as she continued to struggle.

"As I said, just like her mother. Stubborn as ever."

Buffy flinched a little at the word as she lifted the baby into her arms.

"Not stubborn. Persevering."

"Sounds better for her I suppose. Doesn't it kitten?"

Alice yawned in response as she went a little limp against Buffy's chest.

"So... how about next summer? Gives us loads of time to prepare", she suggested, reintroducing wedding talk.

"Its up to you. You're the one organising it all."

Buffy rocked Alice gently.

"If I didn't have my beautiful daughter in my arms... I'd be making you take that back." She almost whispered the last part of her sentence.

Spike appeared to have retreated.

"I was going to admit that I was joking and of course I want to help but I'm now questioning now whether to do that willingly or not", he replied, not exactly quietly.

Buffy smirked but pushed Alice's head further into the crook of her neck.

"Baby here. Enough with the 'talk'", she demanded, emphasising her last word.

"Babies pick up on everything y'know."

"Fair enough...So Summer it is then?"

Buffy smiled gleefully.

"As long as you're not thinkin' of dressin' up my kid in a ridiculous bridesmaid's dress", he added.

His bride-to-be made a disgusted face.

"You can count on it. I really don't get why some parents subject their children to that kind of torture."

"Egos, love. I think I know a thing or two about 'em", he admitted.

Alice snuggled down further into Buffy's arms, her breathing becoming softer as she relaxed. Both Buffy and Spike looked down at her.

"Think this one wants her beauty sleep."

"At least she's a sleeper and not a screamer."

"Hey!", Buffy squeaked.

"Now you've jinxed it."

Spike didn't really shoot her an apologetic look, not being a superstitious person. "Oh, she'll be fine."

"I hope you're right. We're gonna need as much sleep as we can get."

Spike shot her a devilish look.

"Now stop it. You know that's not what I meant..."


	3. The Big Moment

"Just tell me what it is?!", Buffy yelled, clinging onto the bed sheets as Spike desperately tried to yank them off of her.

"Wouldn't be a surprise then. Now do as you're told for once."

Spike had been teasing her all morning about a treat he had lined up but no amount of pleading or pleasing from her had made him give in. In retaliation, she had refused to move from the bed.

"You know I hate surprises. At least give me a clue."

Spike seemed to ignore her and let go of the sheets. By this point, she was hidden beneath them and assumed that he had given up on trying to get her up. Cautiously, she peaked above the covers to check if the coast was clear, scanning the main stretch of the room. She was slightly disappointed to realise that he had indeed given up on his pursuit of getting her up but at least now she could get some uninterrupted rest. She rolled onto her right to suddenly feel a pair of hands grab her, from behind, on the left. She let out a squeal as Spike lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder. She tried to act irritated as she slapped his back and yelled at him to put her down but she couldn't stop laughing as he continued carrying her towards the bathroom.

"Spike!" She made a last ditch effort to wriggle free but she didn't expect the vampire to let go of his grip on her easily. The slayer barely had time to adjust to having her feet back on the ground when a jet of freezing cold liquid fell onto her. Spike had placed her in the shower and turned on the water. She gasped and grasped onto his arm, half tempted to slap and then drag him in there with her.

"This better be one hell of a surprise", she panted as the water began to slowly warm.

"Trust me. It will", he promised as he kissed her apologetically. He turned to leave but was stopped by his fiancée.

"Where do you think you're going? You have to make it up to me now", she demanded, suggestively.

He leant forward, snaking his arms around her waist.

"Later", he whispered, his lips brushing her ear. "For now, you concentrate on getting ready."

Buffy gawped at him, water droplets running off every inch of her and the oversized button up she was wearing, now.

"Are you saying no to what I think you're saying no to?"

Spike said nothing. He only graced her with a sly wink as he left the cubicle. Grabbing a towel as he did so.

* * *

><p>"We won't be long niblet. You can take care of Alice for an hour can't you?"<p>

Dawn nodded, her head buried in her phone. "As long as you're back by 12. I've got class at 1."

"Shouldn't be a problem. Got other plans for your sister later."

Buffy blushed from across the room as she cuddled her daughter.

"And for the gazillionth time this week, ew", Dawn cringed.

As Spike slid on his duster, Buffy handed the excitable girl in her arms over to Dawn.

The slayer took the opportunity to have a quiet word with her little sister.

"You don't know where's he taking me do you?"

"No idea. Not often he gets up this early on a Sunday. How come you two have been extra clingy this week?"

Buffy shot Spike a sheepish look.

"Right, you ready?" Spike quickly tried to change the subject.

"Ready as I can be for something I don't know anything about."

She slipped her hand into his and gave it a small tug.

"C'mon. I might just have to consider patrolling again if you keep my stress levels this high for any longer."

Spike's eyebrows leapt.

"Don't you bloody dare. You've got a family now."

The warring pair didn't notice Dawn sneaking up on them.

"Go!" The girl ushered them towards the door, Alice still in her arms.

"The sooner you guys get back, the sooner I can find out what all the fuss is about too."

* * *

><p>They had been driving, for what Buffy interpreted as hours, along a route that she was unfamiliar with. They were leaving the coast and she swore the land was becoming greener.<p>

"Not much further now", Spike reassured, noticing her frustration. She took a heavy breath and slouched in her seat. She decided to change the subject in order to pass the time.

"Dawn deserves to know at some point. She says being a bridesmaid was a thing she only wanted to do when she was a kid but...I think she's still secretly hoping."

Spike kept his eyes on the road but smiled.

"So that's what you want then?"

Buffy looked puzzled. "Huh?"

He tried to explain. "A big do? Lots of people around? Wasn't sure whether you wanted something quiet and remote."

Buffy pressed her lips together and thought for a moment. She knew she wanted family and close friends there, Dawn, Willow, Xander and Giles, but could they really afford something big, regardless of whether she wanted it or not?

"I don't know. Not the biggest party person in the world but it's important to make this something to remember, right?"

The vampire took one of his hands off of the steering wheel and reached over to take one of hers. He squeezed it tightly.

"We can be in the back end of beyond, with nothing more than a handful of confetti and it'll still be amazing, love."

"The what end of where?"

Trust her to make a joke of it.

"I don't think I'll ever understand the British language. Why can't you all just speak normally?", she said, a thoughtful pout on her lips. Spike couldn't stay annoyed with her then. She always seemed so cute as she rambled on about things she didn't understand or she was cross with.

Without noticing for a moment, Spike had pulled up at their destination.

"We're here."

His passenger didn't look amused as she stared out at the rather steep hill, shaded by an enormous tree, they were facing.

"Next thing you know, you're gonna be telling me that you've started growing your own flowers up here behind my back for months. How could you?" She imitated a dramatic tone.

If she didn't know him any better, she would've sworn she saw him roll his eyes. That was usually her job.

"Funny, slayer. Why don't you just wait for a few more minutes yeah?"

The man jumped out of the car and begun to trek up the hill. Buffy gawped, still in her seat.

He expects me to climb that fucking thing? I don't even know what I'm doing here!

Within 30 seconds, she had caught up to him, panting heavily. She was out of practice when it came to exercise. Not only had giving up slaying contributed towards her unfitness but having a baby left little opportunity to get out.

"You. Definitely. Owe me..."

* * *

><p>They had soon reached the top and were greeted with a spectacular view of the village that they'd driven through not too long ago.<p>

"Worth the walk?", Spike asked.

Buffy had made her way over to the trunk of the tree and was now leaning up against it, still out of breath. Her arms were folded and her head lolled backwards.

"Give me a minute to get my brain functioning again and I might actually be able to make a decision."

He sighed at her melodramatic behaviour, clearly becoming as anxious as she was to reveal what he'd been hiding all morning. He walked towards her and took hold of her waist, adjusting her position slightly so that she wasn't leaning against the tree as much. He moved closer to her and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Both pairs of eyes fluttered shut.

"Now keep them closed", he whispered against her skin. She smiled, half in excitement and half in anticipation, her lips still on his. She felt him withdraw from the embrace and step back. She just stood there just resisting the urge to open her eyes and follow him.

About a minute passed.

"Open."

She obeyed and opened her eyes, taking mere seconds to adjust to the light before making out a small circular shape being held up in front of her. It was unclear, to her, at first what it was but then it dawned on her. The glee on Spike's face couldn't be missed as he realised that she realised what he was holding. The thin silver band shone in the indirect sunlight, the small yet brilliant kite shaped diamond on it glimmering. Before she even had time to react, Spike had reached for her left hand and lifted it to chest level. He held the ring at the tip of her finger.

"Before you go off on one, yes it was a little more than we could afford but I knew the second you said yes that I was gonna give you everything you deserve. Starting by doing this properly."

Even more shock came over Buffy then. Shock and horror.

"Oh my god. You're not getting on one knee for this are you?", she squeaked. Spike had to laugh.

"I love you with everything I've got Summers but there are some boundaries that I just won't cross."

The slayer barely processed what he was saying as she began laughing through her tears of joy.

"So, Buffy Anne Summers, will you do the honour of becoming my wife?"

The woman frantically nodded, not being able to form words at that moment in time.

"Of course it's yes!"

He already knew what her answer would be but his face lit up all the same, hearing it again.

Her outburst suddenly reminded them both of Willow's spell all those years ago when she'd uttered those exact same words. The ring fit her finger perfectly, suiting the shape and size of her slim digit. She had to do everything in her power not to leap into Spike's arms then. The kiss that followed may have just made up for the lack of leaping though.

* * *

><p>Bearing in mind they'd promised Dawn that they'd be back in just over an hour, they made the most of the last half hour they had. They were sat curled up together by the tree, Buffy hardly being able to take her eyes off of her engagement ring. Her actions hadn't been unnoticed by Spike.<p>

"Take it you like it then, love?"

She muffled a laugh.

"It's beautiful."

"Perfect person to wear it then."

She hid her face as she blushed slightly.

"So why here?", she suddenly asked.

"Heard some bloke at work talkin' about it."

"Making friends?"

"Nah. Bit of a git really."

Buffy glanced at her watch.

"We better be getting back. A promise is a promise."

Spike nodded, helping Buffy to her feet. "Although...later, we could pick up where we left off the last time we were engaged."

He reeled his fiancée in, his glorious lips dangerously close to her throat now. If they started, they knew they wouldn't be able to stop.

"Remember? Me. You. Cosy little crypt full'a demons?"

Buffy had to push him back a little.

"Sounds good. Just without the demons if possible."

"Deal..."


	4. Revelations and Celebrations

Buffy had wanted to tell Dawn, about the engagement, as soon as she and Spike got home, from their little trip but he convinced her to hide her ring from her until later that afternoon, when her sister got back from class. They could have a celebratory evening then.

Alice was keen to have her mother around again and started giggling with excitement when she entered her room upstairs, shortly after Dawn had left.

"Hey, princess. You been a good girl for Aunty Dawn?"

Of course, the girl not knowing what was being said, continued to squeak and squeal and was now determined to escape the confines of her cot.

"Alright, little miss impatient." Spike had now stepped forward and was reaching for his daughter.

"That better?", he asked, after lifting her out and sitting her up in his arms. A huge grin spread across her face and she rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the comfort of his hold.

"I can't believe how lucky I got", Buffy reminisced, stroking Alice's cheek.

Spike turned his head to look at her.

"Me, finally finding happiness, being able to have a child with the man I love."

Spike looked surprised.

"Where's all this coming from, pet?"

She smiled, not taking her eyes off of Alice.

"Nowhere. Just thinking about things I guess."

"I think I should be the one saying I'm lucky. Takes a rare woman to fall for a vampire."

"Not just any vamp. You have a soul. Even when you didn't, you were more human than demon. You loved me, helped me, saved me in every way all without a soul. You changed the rules. So, I'm the lucky one to have won the heart of such a unique, kind man." The slayer was stunned by the poet in her.

"You forgot handsome", he butted in.

A huge smile appeared on her mouth. "That too, obviously." She stood on tiptoes, to guarantee that her next sentence was only heard by his ears.

"Why do you think I'm so desperate to get you into the bedroom right now?"

The vampire glanced at the sunshine shaped clock, on the table next to Alice's clock.

"Dawn's not due back for another hour and a half or so."

Alice looked pretty sleepy in her father's arms, obviously not being disturbed by the voices in the room. They tucked the girl back up in her bed.

"Sweet dreams, kitten", he whispered to the baby...

* * *

><p>The pair made sure that they'd finished their activities and were ready in plenty of time of Dawn's arrival.<p>

"How do you think she'll take it?", Buffy asked, tucking in her blouse.

"If I know the niblet, she'll have booked the venue, dress and band before I have you back in that bed again."

"Even by Dawnie's standards, that'd be fast."

He growled and squeezed her waist from behind.

The familiar jangle of keys could be heard from the other side of the main door and in stepped a fed up looking teenager.

"Who's idea was it for me to take Politics?"

Buffy and Spike looked at each other and spoke in unison.

"Yours?"

"Yeah...but you went along with it. Why didn't you warn me about how fucking boring it is?"

Buffy moved away from Spike and started to make her way across the room, speaking as she did.

"Okay. A, I never actually got far enough into College to find out. B, I think Politics was a little different in Spike's time. And C, watch your language."

Dawn typically rolled her eyes.

"Anyway", Buffy continued.

"Me and Spike have something to tell you."

Spike had joined them now and Dawn suddenly forgot about the boring world of Politics, her attention focused on the pair.

"Yuh huh?"

The room stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"Oh my gosh! You're pregnant again aren't you?!"

"Not bloody likely, bit!", Spike confirmed.

Buffy simply held up her ring hand and waggled her fingers.

Neither of them expected the sort of reaction that Dawn had. They knew she'd be excited but damn, she was almost bouncing around all over the room. She was still just a big kid at the end of the day.

* * *

><p>After calming her down, all 4 members of the family went out for a meal. It was a rare treat since they didn't have a lot of time to and they couldn't afford to do it on a regular basis. It was Buffy's choice of restaurant, the place where she and Spike ate when first arriving in Tenerife, when she was just a little over 2 months pregnant with Alice. The place held a good memory. They'd first started coming up with potential baby names on the back of a napkin here.<p>

They sat in the exact same booth and in the exact same positions.

"So have you thought of a date yet?", Dawn asked, slurping on a milkshake.

Spike half nodded, his arm around Buffy's shoulders.

"Sort of."

"We've decided next Summer. Not sure of the date yet", Buffy continued in his place.

Dawn looked a little concerned.

"But...what about the sun? You know how scorchio summers can get here."

"We'll work around it. We have done for the last year."

The trio were interrupted by Alice letting them know of the food's imminent arrival.

"Jeez Dawn, did you not feed her today?"

Dawn scowled at her sister.

"Of course I did! I gave her a second helping, she was so hungry."

Either way, the baby's hands dived straight into her food, as soon as the bowl was placed on the tray of her highchair.

"No, sweetie!", Buffy giggled. She shuffled along the seat, around to the highchair and began cleaning up the mess before feeding her.

They were home by 9 and Alice was still wide awake unlike Dawn, who was the sleepy one instead.

"I think we need to stop letting her sleep during the day", Spike suggested, stripping of his shirt. Buffy was already changed and tucked up in bed, Alice still wriggling in her lap.

"Yeah. If she stays with us tonight, do you think she'll keep quiet?"

The vampire joined her under the covers and looked at their baby.

"Guess we'll find out. Bein' parents is all about trying out new things, right?"

The pair snuggled down, Alice now in between them.

"Here goes nothing."

Buffy smirked.

"You've still got work tomorrow, big guy."

"Thanks for the reminder, sweetheart."

They were just about visible to each other, over Alice's body and suddenly, they realised that she had stilled. Her soft breathing was a comfort to them both.

"Shoulda' known. Our girl is a sleeper..."


	5. Shattered

A/N: Please read this warning before continuing. This chapter centers on a very distressing topic and I want you to be aware that although I do not go into detail, some people may still find it upsetting and very close to their own experiences.

Some may ask why I'm writing about this subject then but honestly, life doesn't go smoothly and I want to show this in the most realistic way I can.

Please let me know if I've handled this chapter well in the reviews and if there's anything vital that I've missed. I apologise if I've caused any upset in advance.

* * *

><p>The bathroom had never seemed as big as it did as Buffy struggled to crawl across the floor towards the door. Even when she'd reached it, the crippling pains in her lower half made it almost impossible to reach up and unlock it. Spike was doing his best to break in but his strength decline made this much harder, maybe even impossible. With one final extremely painful stretch, Buffy flicked the lock and collapsed onto the floor again. She was half blocking the entrance so the vampire had to squeeze in through the tiny gap he created. He was horrified by the sight before him. Buffy, curled up on her side and her face as white as a sheet. He could smell the blood before he could see it.<p>

"Oh my god, Buffy," he almost gasped as he knelt down beside her and cradled her tensed frame.

"Dawn's called an ambulance. They'll be here any minute. Just hold on, love."

Another wave of pain rushed over the slayer and she spasmed about in her lover's arms, trying to get through the next few seconds. And then the next. And then the next. The last thing she remembered was looking up at Spike's terrified face as her eyelids slowly fluttered shut...

3 hours later...

The intimidating beep of a heart rate monitor was what eventually brought Buffy round. She squinted as she adjusted to the light of the room she was now in. The smell of antiseptic, which she associated with a hospital, made her feel sick to her stomach. The cramping had died down a little but it still hurt to move.

She changed the angle of her head to see Spike sitting over her, huge dark circles under his eyes, that weren't there before.

"Hey, pet," he whispered, reaching for her limp hand.

"Hmm?" she grumbled in response, still very dazed and confused. "What's goin' on?"

Spike sighed, softly, as he squeezed her hand, his other one reaching to brush her cheek.

"Just try and get some sleep, okay?"

Even at her weakest, she was still as stubborn as ever.

"No. I need to know. I need t.." She trailed off suddenly feeling very sleepy. It felt like the effect of some sort of drug. Spike looked over his shoulder, seemingly communicating with someone. She couldn't tell but she tried her best to take a look. Of course, the agony she was in prevented that and was forced to lay back down again. A quiet mewl escaped her lips, loud enough for only Spike to hear. He turned back to her without a second thought.

"Don't try to move. Please just get some sleep."

Buffy was becoming increasingly agitated as he continued to deny her any explanation as to why she was here in a hospital bed, racked with pain and scared out of her mind why he wasn't telling her anything. He never did this.

"Spike, please," she whimpered, tears coursing down her cheeks.

His once brilliant blue but now dulled eyes, looked down at her with sadness, his heartbreak clearly showing in them.

"Buffy..."

3 and a half hours ago...

"That was so cheating!" Dawn yelled at Spike, as he revealed his playing cards.

"You keep tellin' yourself that, bit. I won fair and square."

"Stop yelling you two. Like I didn't have a splitting headache already."

"Sorry," Dawn grumbled. "Its just...he couldn't have won that without cheating somehow. Didn't you say he used to cheat at kitten poker?"

Spike shot Buffy a menacing look.

"Hey! Thought we agreed to keep that to ourselves, love?"

"Must've just slipped out", she admitted, very distantly. Spike abandoned his handful of cards and got up from the table, making his way over to Buffy. He brushed his hands up and down her arms.

"You sure you're alright? You seem a bit off."

Buffy nodded, insistantly.

"Yeah. Maybe I'm coming down with something, I don't know"

He kissed her forehead, tenderly.

"Why don't you go for a lie down?"

"I'm not tired. Maybe I'll go for a bath."

"Want me to run it for you?"

"Nah. I got it. You keep the sore loser here company."

"Hey!" Dawn whined.

"Let me know if you need anything yeah?", he asked.

"Yeah..."

3 and a half hours later...

"Spike, please."

"Buffy..."

The wait was starting to become more agonising than the physical pain.

Tears glistened in his eyes as he clearly struggled to find words.

"Just know that none of this is your fault. Promise me, you won't put this on yourself."

How can I when I don't understand?"

Then there was silence.

"Love...You've lost a little one."

Buffy shook her head.

"I don't understand."

"You've had a miscarriage..."


	6. Getting Through

A/N: Continued distressing theme with angst, please be aware.

* * *

><p>This didn't make sense. Buffy shuffled around uncomfortably, shaking her head in denial still.<p>

"They must've got it wrong. I would've known if I was pregnant. Remember how early the signs were with Alice!"

Spike continued to caress her cheek as he shook his head back at her.

"Doctor said you don't always follow suit. Some people can be months along and not notice."

The slayer fought back with other reasons but she knew deep down that what her fiancé was telling her was true, eventually.

"I didn't do anything wrong. Why did I lose it?" The tears of realisation, that were destined to stay with her for weeks, begun to build up in her sore eyes. Immediately, both of his hands moved to cup her face, as if to make sure that she understood straight away.

"You didn't do anything. Sometimes these things just happen and there's nothing anyone can do. Ask anyone and they'll tell you its almost impossible to pin down a reason for it."

Somehow, this didn't make her feel any better. She'd still lost her baby, not even knowing it existed.

"But I wasn't even able to love it, it doesn't even know that I want to love it!" The devastated woman was sobbing uncontrollably now, her cries echoing around the room. Spike leant over and buried his face in her hair, hugging her as best he could, with her lying down.

"It knew. Babies know things."

Buffy's arms joined around his back, pulling him closer to her, even though they were already body to body.

"2 months. How could I not have known. What if something could've been done to stop it i-"

Spike silenced her.

"Buffy, stop it. Even if you knew, you would've still been where you are now. These things are just natural."

"Why? What's the point in creating life if it's only gonna be taken away again before it's even had a chance to live."

She could start to hear Spike sniffing now. She'd not forgotten but didn't think about how torn up inside Spike was about all this too. They'd both lost their child. He was the one who'd found out about this all on his own whilst she was unconscious.

Neither said anything for next few minutes as they continued to mourn in each other's arms...

* * *

><p>Dawn had been sitting in the waiting area, with Alice since Buffy was admitted. She wasn't allowed multiple visitors at the time and the youngest Summers had agreed that Spike was the one who needed to be by Buffy's side right now. The little girl in her arms had stayed awake, surprisingly, during all the chaos. Maybe it was because of the strange place she was in.<p>

She had resisted the urge to check up on them for the last hour or so but she was really starting to worry about her sister. Spike hadn't had the time to tell her what was wrong with Buffy, not leaving Buffy's side. The last thing he wanted was for her to wake up alone.

Oh, screw it.

She wrapped Alice further up in her blanket and crept round the corner to Buffy's room. The blinds were half shut but she was able to peak through. Spike was laid beside Buffy, her head tucked under his chin. He was slowly but rhythmically stroking her hair, his other hand linked with hers. Every now and then he would kiss her knuckles, holding them to his lips afterwards. She couldn't see her sister's face, however. This seemed really serious. She was torn between knocking and leaving them in peace for a while longer. Even if she decided to go in there, maybe it wasn't the best idea to take Alice with her, if the situation really was that delicate but of course, she couldn't leave the baby on her own! Alice poked her Aunty but got no response so continued to jab her to get her attention. Eventually, she looked down at the child. She didn't know why but she could tell from the face she was making that she was hungry. She was starting on solids but still relied on Buffy for a good 80% of her meals.

"Okay. But if I'm on the receiving end of any funny looks, this is on you."

She found the courage to knock lightly on the door but left it a few seconds before entering. Spike and Buffy both looked in her direction and Dawn found herself going a little red.

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't have interrupted. Its just, Alice is getting all...rumbly and everything."

"It's okay," Buffy croaked. Dawn noticed that she wasn't even putting on a fake smile, like she usually did when something was wrong. Spike took a moment to lean in towards Buffy and whisper something in her ear. She nodded in agreement.

"Give 'er here, niblet," he said, reaching to take the baby from her. "I think you and you're sis need a word."

Dawn nodded, not really understanding what she was agreeing to.

"Hey, Dawnie."

Dawn smiled, half heartedly.

"You're probably wondering what's been going on."

She didn't say anything. She only moved to sit down next to her when she patted the bed.

"I don't really think I can deal with the all the talk right now so I'm just going to tell you straight out." The tears threatened to spill again and Dawn was looking increasingly concerned.

"What's happened, Buffy? You're scaring me."

Buffy suddenly felt awful and brushed her little sister's hair behind her ear.

"No, don't be scared, Dawnie. There's nothing to be scared for."

Dawn silently urged her sister on.

"I've had a miscarriage."

Dawn suddenly went stiff.

"I've lost a baby", she squeaked as she started to cry again.

"Oh, Buffy...I'm...I'm so sorry. God, I had no idea you were..."

"I didn't either. I didn't have any symptoms this time."

Dawn was starting to weep too and the women fell into an embrace.

After a minute or so, Dawn had gotten her emotions, relatively, in check but Buffy was still bawling, slowly going limp in her little sister's arms as she thought about it all even more.

"We'll get through this, Buffy. We're all strong and we can do this."

Buffy didn't say anything but at that moment, she felt as if she could never move on, as if she'd be stuck feeling like this forever...

* * *

><p>Buffy'd managed to contain herself enough to give Alice her feed but feared the tears were far from over.<p>

"Don't think I'm ever going to neglect you because of this, sweetie."

She rocked her daughter from side to side as her little eyelids slowly fluttered shut.

"This only makes you all the more important. Me and daddy love you more than anything and that is one thing I promise will never change."

The slayer didn't notice a nurse enter the room before she spoke up.

"I'm sorry Miss Summers but it's important that you rest."

She didn't need to ask what the nurse was telling her to do.

"Do you want me to ask your partner to take her?"

Buffy nodded before looking back down at Alice.

"You keep daddy company now. He needs lots of hugs. Not just any hugs. Special ones from you."

"Indeed he does."

The slayer looked up to see Spike standing at the foot of the bed.

"Take her home. Make sure she gets a proper sleep."

"I'm not leaving you here on your own, pet."

"I'll be sleeping, I won't need company. You, Alice and Dawn need to get freshened up and a proper night's sleep in a bed."

Spike knew it was pointless arguing with her. He also knew she was right. He simply walked up to her and held his family in his arms.

"You make sure you get some sleep then. No bad dreams, promise me."

Buffy nodded. The only way he knew that she did was from the motion of her hair against his neck.

"Good."

He hesitated for a moment but leant into press his lips against his fiancée's. Their caress was full of need and sympathy and almost started the waterworks again but they pulled away before it could happen.

"Come on, kitten."

The baby tried to hang on to her mum's hospital gown but her plan was foiled by her dad. She started to cry as she was carried away, her distraught little face, over Spike's shoulder, breaking Buffy's heart even more.

"Maaaaaa", she wailed. That's when Spike stopped dead in his tracks and looked to Buffy and she looked back at him. Her first word. That was when the nurse appeared in the doorway, insisting that all visitors had to leave, again. Spike nodded before giving Buffy an apologetic look. The nurse did the same before also exiting the room and closing the door firmly behind her. Buffy could hear her child's cries all the way down the corridor and a lonesome tear dripped down her cheek. She feared that tonight was going to be the loneliest night of her life..


	7. Useless

A/N: More angst...sorry...

* * *

><p>Buffy had been discharged from hospital the following day, after doctors said they could do nothing more and to let nature take its course. The heartbroken women wanted to spend all day hiding away in the bedroom and Spike didn't have the heart to suggest otherwise. She was grieving and dealing with things in her own way. He had to take an extended leave of absence from work, which left them worrying, financially, for the future. Buffy knew she should help out, so that Spike could return to work, but she didn't feel that her useless body could do anything anymore. She was afraid that she would spontaneously not be able to feed Alice one day, for no particular reason. She'd just stop being able to provide the food her daughter needed. Her body couldn't even keep a child so it could happen.<p>

The only times she didn't feel as hopeless was when she and Spike would come together. He was reluctant to a majority of the time, knowing what she was trying to achieve. It hadn't been the first time she'd used him to feel better about herself and although he knew it was different this time around, he couldn't help but feel that it wasn't...

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered one night, shortly after she and Spike had finished making love. Spike didn't say anything but pulled her closer.

"I'm sorry for making you feel like this. I know what it reminds you of."

"But it's not," Spike responded. "I know it isn't. So do you and that's all that matters."

"I just can't stop thinking about everything. Every time I replay what's happened in my head, the guilt just gets worse."

"Baby, you need time. We all do. It won't feel like this forever. You'll always remember but the pain will be a distant memory one day."

The slayer curled up further into his embrace, wanting desperately to sleep but not sure if she was going to be able to.

"Would we ever tell Alice?"

Spike stiffened at the thought.

"I mean, she's too young to remember but I feel like we shouldn't keep it from her."

Spike ran his fingers up and down the back of her neck. "Maybe but its not something we need to worry about now."

The slayer continued to trace patterns on Spike's chest with her fingernail, for a little while longer, before wrapping her arm around his waist and closing her eyes.

"Night, my love", he whispered against her skin. He swore that he saw her smile then for the first time in a week.

* * *

><p>"Please stop crying," Buffy sighed in exasperation. Alice had been fed, changed and had slept for over 10 hours but she still wouldn't stop wailing. It was so typical that she'd chosen this night to keep her mother up. It was the first one, since their loss, that she'd had a full night's sleep. Spike had offered to take care of their girl but he had been rejected by the insistent mother.<p>

"C'mon, sweetie. What's wrong? I've tried everything!"

The baby didn't even give her mum as much as a helpful look and her cries only became louder. Buffy growled whilst rocking Alice, half-heartedly now, and then snapped.

"Please just be quiet!"

She didn't notice Spike standing behind her.

"Love."

Buffy suddenly felt very regretful.

"She's just a baby. She doesn't know any better."

"I know. I didn't mean it."

Spike had approached her now and was reaching for their precious daughter.

"Get some sleep, pet."

Buffy was reluctant.

"No, I've got her."

"Go to bed, Buffy."

The slayer was stunned by the harshness in his tone.

"I just mean...it would be better if you did. You obviously haven't gotten enough kip."

She was still too stunned to find many words.

"Yeah. I know."

It hurt to see Spike holding Alice so protectively then...

* * *

><p>Buffy frantically tried to wipe any evidence of tears away when she felt Spike's presence outside of the bathroom door. She couldn't recall why she didn't lock it.<p>

"Buffy?

"Uh huh?"

"Can I come in?"

Buffy'd decided she didn't want him seeing her like this anymore. She opened the door and smiled briefly before walking past him and reassuring him that she was alright. He barely had the time to stop her before she'd jumped back into bed and disappeared under the covers purposely to hide her face.

"Alice asleep?" she asked, the sheets muffling her words.

"Yep. Think she just needed a hug."

He slipped in next to his fiancée and pulled the covers down off of her face. She wasn't crying but he could tell that she had been.

"I know we've suspected it before but I'm pretty sure she can tell when we're upset."

Buffy nodded before bursting into tears again. So much for not crying in front of him anymore.

"I'm sorry for snapping."

"No. You had every right to. I just can't believe I shouted at her. She was doing nothing wrong. Just being her."

Spike pressed his lips to her eyelid and lingered for a few seconds, his warm breath on her skin a comfort for some bizarre reason.

"When will it get better, Spike? Nothing's ever hurt as much as this does. I just want this hole in my chest to heal. I just want it all to stop."

"So do I, pet. Doesn't hurt just because of the baby."

Buffy flinched.

"It kills me seeing you like this. I'd take all of your hurt and keep it for myself if I could. Just as long as you and Alice are happy and healthy."

The slayer made a gap between herself and the vampire and looked up at him.

"I love you so much. I wouldn't be able to get through anything without you. You've given me everything...Give me everything."

"Likewise, Summers..."


	8. Happy Birthday

Buffy woke the next morning to a pleasurable sensation on the left curve of her stomach. Spike was trying to subtly wake her. His hand had slipped under her shirt and was stroking the skin lightly, knowing she liked it when he did this.

"Happy birthday, pet," he whispered. She rolled over to face him, her hand brushing his cheek.

"Huh? Its not my birthday until January."

"But it is."

Buffy was extremely confused. "I think I would know if it had been a year since I'd had my baby, Spike."

Spike looked as puzzled as she did. He was totally convinced that it was January, wasn't he? Buffy's attention was drawn to a woman standing in the archway of the bedroom. She was quite thin with dark brown curls. She must've been in her late thirties, early forties. She also had the most piercing sapphire blue eyes. They were the most recognisable pair Buffy'd ever come across.

She couldn't believe it.

"Alice?"

Her daughter smiled.

"Hey, mum. Happy birthday."

The woman didn't have as strong an American accent as Buffy. There was clearly some of her father's beautiful British in it.

What the hell was going on? She looked back to Spike, who's eyes were still fixed on her. Could he not see their now grown up daughter standing before them?!

"Still as beautiful as ever. Don't look a day older to me."

Suddenly, a mirror appeared in front of the slayer out of nowhere.

Her once golden hair was now thin and grey, her skin had shriveled up and her eyes had lost all sense of youth and were now just plain brown.

"What?" she started. She stopped when she realised the state of her voice. All croaky and hoarse, like her late grandmother's. All the time, Spike kept looking at her like everything was perfectly normal, his youthful features still frozen in time. She looked around the room to discover abnormal amounts of tables, surrounding the bed, full of photo frames. The pictures started off with Buffy's young self and a baby Alice. As she moved her eyes along the tables, her and Alice both grew older but Spike stayed the same. When she'd finished the row, Alice moved to stand at the end.

"We had the greatest of times didn't we?" her girl asked. Buffy couldn't respond. She hadn't experienced any of it so how could she know? Spike spoke after a silence.

"She doesn't remember Alice, sweetheart. You know what the doctors said. Your mum struggles to recall things now."

The slayer was frustrated, not being able to communicate and began to cry without even realising.

"It's alright, pet. Don't try to talk."

Buffy closed her eyes for a second and opened them to find that both Spike and Alice had disappeared.

"Spike?" she choked. "Alice?" The space around her began to fade into black and suddenly enveloped her.

* * *

><p>That's when Buffy jolted awake. She had been sweating and was panting profusely. She knew it had only been a dream almost immediately after waking but her body didn't seem to be listening to her brain, as it was still shaking.<p>

"You're alright, love." Spike had obviously been shaken out of his slumber, by her sudden movements, and now had his arms around her and his lips to her shoulder blade. His attempted comfort only made things worse. It made her feel as if the dream was repeating on her again. She couldn't breathe.

"Get off me!" she yelled and leapt out of the bed to get as far away from it as she could. She barely registered Spike's both stunned and crushed face as she pressed her back up against a wall.

"Alice." Her mumbling was too quiet for Spike to hear but he bolted straight after her as she flew up the stairs to their daughter's room. Dawn had also emerged from her room, due to the shouting, and watched in utter confusion as Buffy lifted a half asleep Alice from her crib and held her tightly in her arms. She uttered some comforting to words to the girl, more for herself than anyone else.

* * *

><p>It was earlyish morning when the household had been woken so no one bothered to go back to sleep. They all just focused on trying to calm Buffy and get her to tell them what was troubling her. She eventually managed to explain her dream to Spike, in a way that he understood, but she seemed more taken with it's meaning than him.<p>

"I know it was only a dream but...it could happen one day. I mean, you're still not aging, you've got no heartbeat. What if the Ravix's bite never makes you fully human? Giles says its never happened before."

She hoped he'd come up with a response but instead he just sat there, eyes to the floor.

"This is what I was afraid of. I didn't want you getting your hopes up about it all."

"There's gotta be another way of making you human. I know I said I didn't care about whether you were or not and I still don't, really, but..." How did she end that sentence?

"You don't need to explain. I know how you feel. But don't you think that I would've heard of something that turns vamps back into humans?"

She nodded in disappointment. She was the slayer for crying out loud. Of course she would've heard, if such a thing existed, from Giles.

"The thought of havin' to go on living without you is my worst nightmare. The idea of bloody staking myself wouldn't be far off."

Buffy went to protest.

"But if it were to come to that, I'd still have Alice to look after. No way in hell would I leave her on her own. That would be the most selfish thing I could do."

What else was there to say?

"Guess all we can do now is hope for something that might not happen or we can focus on what we have."

Buffy started fiddling with his knotted fingers.

"Screw next summer," she sighed.

"What?"

"I don't wanna wait. I want us to get married before the month's up."

Spike looked genuinely stunned. Even with everything they were going through, she was still determined to make it through the other side. God, he loved this woman...


	9. Flow

A/N: Things start to look up from this chapter so bear with me...

* * *

><p>"What about that one?" Dawn asked.<p>

"If I want to be labelled 'slut of the year' then sure, that's a great choice."

Dawn was making sure that Buffy threw herself into wedding plans all day, every day for the next few weeks, and they were currently surrounded by dress catalogues. The bride and groom-to-be had set a date for the last day of July and it was already the 10th.

"It's not that bad! I actually think its quite pretty."

Buffy rolled her eyes but looked back at the page. "Forget the dress, look at the price! We can pay for half the wedding for that amount!"

Dawn realised that they'd reached the end of yet another magazine so she tossed it aside and picked up another.

"I still can't get my head around it. You...getting married. To Spike of all people!"

"I think I'm beyond that stage. It feels so normal. So right now. Feels like there was never anyone else but him."

Dawn smiled and opened the book to a random page. That's when Buffy saw it. The most beautiful gown she had ever seen.

"What?" Dawn questioned, noticing her sister's mesmerised expression. She followed the woman's gaze to the page and picked it up.

"That's it, Dawnie. That's the one." She'd looked through maybe hundreds of dresses this week and none had given her the excitement this one had.

Dawn read the description. "Its vintage, apparently. Hand stitched. And, not as expensive as most of ones we've found so far, surprisingly."

The pair studied the dress for a while longer, admiring every curve, every inch of the silky fabric.

"You're pretty taken with it, huh?"

Buffy nodded. "It's perfect."

Dawn clapped her hands. "Well, that's one thing done. Next is..." She began scanning her mental checklist. "Bridesmaid dresses!" she squeaked.

"Surprise, surprise."

The sisters swiveled around, on their places on the living room floor, and noticed Spike standing by the main door, obviously just arriving home from work. Buffy had insisted that he return, especially now they had a wedding coming up. Dawn quickly snatched up their current catalogue and shoved it behind her back. Spike looked suspicious.

"Wedding stuff. It's bad luck to see the dress before the wedding day."

"I'm pretty sure the bride has to be in it for it to be bad luck, niblet, but if you insist," he corrected, leaning in to kiss Buffy, who had jumped up to greet him.

"All I can say is that its gorgeous and you're not going to be able to take your eyes off her."

The vampire looked down at his future wife. "Can't take my eyes off of her, most of the time."

Buffy blushed.

"Where's my best girl?" he asked.

"Upstairs playing with her new plushie, I think," Dawn responded.

"Ohh no. We've got venue plans to discuss first, mister."

Spike sighed. "I've just got in the door, woman. Am I not allowed to see my own daughter now?"

"I've been waiting days to sit down and talk about venues with you."

"Okay." His reply was to simple for Buffy's liking. He clearly had something else on his mind. Something meant to change her own. She realised too late, just as Spike swooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bedroom in a hold that even she had no chance of getting out of.

"Give us a minute or sixty, bit."

Dawn cringed as he kicked their bedroom door shut. "Ew..."

* * *

><p>About an hour and a half later, Buffy emerged from the shower, her wet, wavy hair hanging down to her shoulders, just above where her towel started. Spike still hadn't gotten up, comfortably nestled in a sea of sheets. Any thought of removing himself from the bed disappeared from his mind, in an instant, as he closely watched the gorgeous woman .<p>

"Now," she started. "Venues."

Spike wasn't thinking clearly if he thought he could change Buffy's mind about something with a quickie. He sighed as she clambered onto his lap, straddling his hips so that he couldn't escape.

"Do we want it local? Or do we want to fly out to somewhere remote and romantic?" she pondered, winding her arms around his neck.

"Depends on what type of weddin' you want. You still haven't told me whether you've made a final decision about it being low key or not."

"Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, Alice, you, me. We're not having any of Willow's slayer friends from England."

Spike looked offended at the very idea. Although Buffy was the one urging him about venue talk, he could see in her face that she was struggling for ideas too.

"Close your eyes, pet."

"Wait...what? Why?"

"Just close them."

Buffy obeyed and let her lids flutter shut.

"Take a couple of minutes to think about where your dream setting is for a wedding. The environment, the people. Just let everything flow in that cute little noggin' of yours."

Buffy laughed, softly, but didn't lose focus. It was weird how she suddenly pictured herself standing on a pier, in the beautiful vintage gown, surrounded by a crystal clear ocean and golden sand. The pier was sheltered, for Spike, but she could still feel the glorious sun on her face. The scoobies were also in their finest, her little girl in a simple pastel pink dress with a bow. Oh, and then there was Spike. Man, did he look a vision in his tux. Plain black with a simple white shirt and flower attached to him. His hair was slicked back and he was the happiest she'd ever seen him. Buffy decided to open her eyes then. Spike was still looking at her, eagerly waiting to hear her ideas.

"Know any good piers?"

Spike seemed a little surprised.

"I'm sure we can find one, love."

"You're okay with a beach wedding then?"

"Spend enough time near them don't I?" he stated, glancing at the shore out of the window.

"That doesn't answer my question. Do you want this? It's as much your wedding as mine."

"As long as I've got somewhere to hide from, my old mate, the sun I'm good to go."

"I think we can figure something out."

The vampire began wrapping his fingers around the ends of Buffy's sodden hair.

"You gonna let me dry it?" he whispered. She nodded and spun around so that she had her back to him. He started off by gently combing his fingers through it.

"You're doing so well, love."

The slayer immediately knew what he was talking about. "I've had to. I can't keep crying. Can't keep spending all my time doing nothing. Not just for my sake but for everyone else's. Besides..." She leant backwards against his shoulder and swiveled her head to the left, slightly, to kiss his jaw. "I'm getting married in 21 days. I should be celebrating."

"You shouldn't be forcing yourself to feel anything. Be honest with me."

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I genuinely feel better. I want to be excited and celebrate and that's what I'm doing. I think about the baby every day but the pain gets less and less every time I do. You were right." She hadn't noticed that Spike had completely brushed her tangles away now.

"Told you." His tone was completely caring. He suddenly started massaging her scalp, causing her to let a pleasurable moan escape.

"How are you so good at that?" Her limbs had gone completely limp now.

"Maybe I'm not. Maybe you just like it so much."

Buffy's head lolled backwards as she gave up on words. They were both jolted from their bubble by Dawn's knock at their door.

"One second!" Buffy called out as she went to retrieve her bath robe. "Yep?"

The girl poked her head round. "There's someone at the door to see you. Well, multiple someones."

"We're not expecting visitors."

"Just, come on."

"Dawnie, I'm not dressed!"

"They won't care!" Dawn had grasped her sister's hand now and was tugging her into the front room. That's when Buffy looked straight ahead and saw Willow and Xander, by the front door. As if their presence wasn't surprising enough, a skinny, dark haired woman in a crop top, denim jacket and a tight pair of jeans stood behind them.

No way...

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the lack of a wedding dress description. I'm going to leave your imaginations running wild for a little longer.


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